Learning To Let Go
by Flamebyrd
Summary: In which Sakura is getting married, and Tomoyo isn't quite sure how to feel about it.
1. One

_I notice someone commented on the lack of Sakura in "For Those Left Behind". That's because the fic wasn't about Sakura - it was about those left behind. In that case, Yue and Touya. Tomoyo, I thought, deserved her own story. Meiling too. Fujitaka sort of got his say in "Reflections of the Moon". Anyway, this is set in For Those Left Behind universe, but other than that they won't have too much in common. That was a Touya/Yukito fic. This is All About Tomoyo.  
  
This version of the story has changed slightly (but not too much) from the version I posted in... oh, god. January, 2002? I suck! I'm so sorry!   
  
Paragraphs in italics are text from letters. Apologies if this confuses anybody, but ff.net doesn't allow blockquote tags.  
_**  
LEARNING TO LET GO**  
A sequel to "For Those Left Behind"  
By Flamebyrd  
  
So, Sakura-chan was getting married. Syaoran had proposed to her the very night before they left to return to Japan and they were aiming for a Spring wedding under the falling sakura petals.  
  
This was a good thing, wasn't it? She should be happy, shouldn't she?   
  
_I'm sure by now you've already received Sakura's invitation. I hope that you are as delighted as I am that Sakura and Syaoran have finally set a date for the wedding. They really are a lovely couple.  
_  
At the airport Sakura had hugged her tightly and shared her news, and told Tomoyo she _definitely _wanted her friend to design the clothing for the wedding party.   
  
Tomoyo took the invitation to be involved and, like it was a special gift, she held it close to her heart.   
  
_But still, I find myself wondering how this will affect our friendship._  
  
Sakura-chan would absolutely have the most special wedding in the world.  
_  
_Because after that, Tomoyo would have no place in Sakura's life any more.   
  
_It's not that I think Sakura-chan will deliberately cut off contact between us, or that it will be a conscious decision on anyone's part. But we will drift apart. A girl like I am has no place in a married woman's life, she will simply come to realise this - childhood friends are best left to the children._  
  
She paused in her letter, twirling her hair around a finger in thought. Once, not long after she had turned sixteen, her mother had taken her aside and told her she didn't have to keep her hair long for her mother any more. She had thought it odd at the time, and assured her mother that she liked her hair this way and wouldn't dream of changing it. It wasn't until a year later that she realised the meaning of the statement: her mother had finally moved on.  
  
_It's odd that I think to move on and lose this special feeling would be a greater tragedy than falling in love with her in the first place. Naturally, it was never meant to be - even if Syaoran-kun had never arrived in Tomoeda, Sakura-chan was meant for Yukito-san. I never had a chance. That is sad, but it would be sadder still to never have had this feeling, or to have had it and lost it.  
  
Or so I feel.   
_  
And it was what she felt was right for her that was important, wasn't it? That was what she told Sakura - if the person she loved was happy then so was she.  
  
But... was she really happy?  
  
She had written to Eriol the year before, sharing news of Sakura's imminent departure. He had, ever the observant young man, read carefully between the lines of everything she wrote and written back in words of concern for happiness.  
  
He was generous, she thought, to be so concerned for her. And she was _not_ unhappy. How could she have been unhappy, when Sakura-chan had been so overjoyed at this opportunity to live with Syaoran's family and get to know them like he knew her?  
  
Not unhappy at all...   
  
_But enough on me. You will be coming over for the wedding, will you not? Since Syaoran-kun will undoubtedly be staying with Sakura-chan's family, would you like to stay at my house for the duration? You should know that we are not lacking for space and I would be glad for your company.  
_  
At least, she mused, there was one person out there who knew what she was going through.  
  
She had received a letter from Nakuru not long after Eriol's, and after that a note of apology from Eriol for having left her letter open on his writing desk.   
  
_Tomoyo-chan, _(the letter had said), _"I am Ever So Sorry you have to go through this, and I assure you I know All About Unrequited Love and I hope you will find a way to achieve Ground In-between what you Feel and what the Person you Love feels. That is the Best Way to live." [1]  
_  
The note at the bottom to glomp Touya for her had made Tomoyo smile, although she could never bring herself to actually do it. Still, she tried to take the note in the way it was meant: Nakuru was simply being herself and far too enthusiastic for her own good. She didn't take it seriously.  
  
She found herself wondering if Nakuru had grown up the way Yukito had, and what Eriol looked like now. It had been so many years...  
  
_I hope Sakura-chan remembers to invite Hiiragizawa-kun. I believe you two would get along very well. Although I do suppose he will turn up anyway - it would be very unlike him to not know of an event like this. In fact, it would be like him to know Sakura-chan was going to get married before she did herself. He is like that.  
_  
Perhaps it would be best to subtly mention Hiiragizawa-kun to Sakura-chan next time they spoke. If nothing else, it would do to keep Li-kun from becoming too nervous on his wedding day.  
  
Which reminded her...  
  
_On a completely different note, what colour do you think would look best on Syaoran-kun for his wedding day? I was thinking of pink for Sakura-chan, but then I remembered the cherry trees, so perhaps blue would be more in order. If I make his suit navy blue, I think they would compliment each other quite nicely.  
  
But you have known him far longer than I have, what do you think would suit him? And, just in case, what do you think he would absolutely refuse to wear?  
_  
Tomoyo wasn't used to dressing boys. And she didn't have a clue what size Syaoran would be now, so she made a note to call him and ask him to come around some day so she could measure him.  
  
He'd said something cryptic at the airport about wanting to speak to her alone sometime, so this would be the perfect way to get both things done at once.  
  
That decided, she picked up her pen again and continued writing.  
  
_I hope this letter finds you in good health and that your family is well. Please be sure to write back and tell me when you will be arriving. If you make it a few weeks early we can have some fun before the wedding, ne?   
  
Sincerely,  
Daidouji Tomoyo  
_  
Tomoyo hid a smile behind her hand as she sealed the letter and addressed it. She left the letter on the bench, awaiting a stamp before she posted it.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
_Comments appreciated.  
  
_**Footnote(s)**  
[1] Nakuru's letter: Nakuru is writing like Vanyel's mother in The Last Herald-Mage. I did this because it makes me giggle. Since she'd actually be writing in Japanese, however, I assume the capitalised words would have been written in katakana (which, according to Teach Yourself Japanese, can be used for emphasis.) 


	2. Two

_Yes, this did take an awful long time to get out. I'm sorry. Beware of Treesa!Nakuru._ **Chapter Two**  
  
The next week's post brought two letters: one with an English stamp, the other with a stamp from Hong Kong.  
  
_My dear Daidouji-san,  
  
Several days ago, I received Sakura-san's letter and invitation to her wedding. Since I know for a fact that my house has been destroyed and a fairground built in its place, we will have nowhere to stay in Tomoeda when I arrive. Would you happen to have some advice on a nice hotel in the area we can stay in? I would not wish to cause the bride stress by having to arrange accommodation for her guests as well.  
_  
Tomoyo wondered if this was a subtle request that she provide accommodation for Eriol and company at her own house, but quickly decided the thought was unworthy of her. Eriol was surely too much a gentlemen to request lodgings in such an underhand manner.  
  
Yeah. Right.  
  
_I am very pleased that Sakura-san and my relative are finally committing to each other. Just as you are, I'm sure.   
_  
She winced.   
  
_I assume you will be designing the wedding clothes and organising the filming? I look forward to seeing what you have come up with._  
  
Oh dear, the filming... She had assured Sakura that she didn't want to be in the wedding party, she just wanted to be behind the camera, capturing Sakura's perfect day. Unfortunately, she could tell that Sakura wasn't entirely happy with that.   
  
She wondered if she had somehow hurt Sakura with her insistence that she didn't want to be involved.  
  
_I can't help but wonder why you are doing the filming when Sakura would be overjoyed to have you in the wedding party._  
  
Damn that Eriol, anyway. She skimmed through the rest of the letter quickly, pulled out a fresh piece of writing paper and began composing her reply.  
  
_Dear Hiiragizawa-kun_,  
  
_I know this lovely hotel not far from where the wedding is to be held. I will send you the address and phone number along with this letter.  
  
Thank you for your concern. I assure you, I am perfectly fine.  
  
Sincerely,  
Daidouji Tomoyo.  
_  
She wondered if she'd perhaps been a little too short with him.  
  
Putting the letter aside for a moment, she tore open the other envelope.  
  
It contained a single slip of paper, with the words "Call me" written in Meiling's familiar scrawl. Tomoyo smiled and reached for the phone. Her mother wouldn't mind her making the call. It wasn't like she telephoned Hong Kong every day or anything.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan," her friend informed her as soon as she got on the phone, "you are an idiot."  
  
"Meiling-chan!" she protested, surprised.  
  
"Well, really!" said the other girl. "Sakura-chan is _not_ going to end your friendship just because she's married! It's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard."  
  
"It is not ridiculous! I have no right to be her best friend!"  
  
Meiling was silent for a moment. "What on earth do you mean?"  
  
"She still wants me to be in the wedding party! Me! And she has no idea how much this is hurting me! What kind of best friend doesn't want to be at her friend's wedding?"  
  
"Well, seeing her happy makes you happy. Isn't that what you've always told her?"  
  
"Yes, but she didn't know I was talking about _her_!"  
  
She could almost _hear_ Meiling's smile. "Oh, be serious. Even Sakura isn't that dense."  
  
Tomoyo paused. "Would you like to bet on that?"  
  
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. "Fine, maybe she doesn't know. But I don't see why that means you can't be her friend."  
  
Tomoyo was silent for a moment. "Well, that is..." Because I don't want her to get married and I know that's not a worthy thought for Sakura's best friend to have.   
  
She didn't say that out loud, though. Meiling had a very piercing shriek, even over the phone.  
  
"There, see?" said Meiling, obviously taking her hesitation as an indication that she couldn't think of a reason.   
  
Tomoyo sighed. "Did you just ask me to call in order to tell me off?" she asked, in mock irritation.  
  
"That, and a few other things. Firstly, I'd love to stay at your place for the wedding. My family and Syaoran's are both coming over and staying in a hotel, but I can't think of anything worse than being cooped up with Syaoran's sisters."  
  
Tomoyo smiled at the memory of Syaoran's sisters. "I can understand that. I'll ask my mother."  
  
"And the blue sounds lovely, although I thought it would be kind of cute if we dressed Syaoran in his ceremonial gear and you got Sakura to dress in one of your famous battle costumes..."  
  
She thought about that for a moment. It _would_ be awfully cute...  
  
"...but I think they'd both kill us if we tried."  
  
Darn, thought Tomoyo. "I think you're right."  
  
They chatted about the wedding plans for a few more moments, and then had to end the call.  
  
Tomoyo sighed. "When did we grow apart so much?" she wondered out loud. There had been a time where Meiling had understood everything she was going through.  
  
Maybe the difference was that Meiling didn't seem to be in love with Syaoran any more.  
  
The last item on her agenda was written on pink paper, and had been included in the letter from Eriol. She thought she knew who that was from.  
  
_Darling Tomoyo-chan,  
  
I was Ever So Delighted to hear about Sakura-chan's impending Wedding, but of course my first thought was Of You. I do hope you are all right. It must be Very Difficult for you.  
  
But nevertheless, I think you should Not Give Up being a part of your best friend's wedding. You would be a Compliment To The Wedding Party and I'm sure Sakura-chan would Adore Having You There.  
  
Besides, you Can't spend the Whole Day behind a Video Camera. It just Wouldn't Be Right.  
  
I cannot express in words How Much I am looking forward to Seeing You All Again. In particular Touya-kun (do you know if he is still dating that repressed moon angel?), but of course the Ever So Cute Sakura-chan. And, of course, You Yourself.  
  
Be cheerful, okay?  
  
With my Dearest Wishes,  
Ruby Moon._  
  
She had to put the letter down on several occasions to wipe the tears of laughter away. Maybe she _would_ put Eriol and his companions up, after all. It wasn't like they didn't have the space. And she'd need a good laugh.  
  
Am I really being so silly, though? she wondered. Does everybody think I'm being unnecessarily stubborn about this?  
  
She wondered what Sakura thought her real reasons were.  
  
In the end, Sakura proposed a compromise. Tomoyo would video Sakura before and after the wedding, but she would allow her mother's team of video camera ladies to film the wedding itself. Sakura had been so earnest about it that Tomoyo couldn't find it in her heart to refuse. Sakura's smile when she agreed was almost blinding.  
  
Sometimes she wondered if Sakura _knew_ the power she had over Tomoyo.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
And I hope I'll have the next part done a lot quicker than it took me to get this one out, too. >. 


End file.
